I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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