Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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