still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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