Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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