i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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