Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
