It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
