i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
