We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
