we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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