Your face is a jimmy john
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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