I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
