did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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