I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
