dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Holy shit dude........stairs
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
