Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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