If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
