i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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