We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
