What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize