Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
