he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
