Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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