small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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