I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
