He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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