I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
