okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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