My first STD was from a foam party
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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