I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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