Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just forgot I was standing up.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
