How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
