I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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