I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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