I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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