No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
