I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
