Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
