woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm like, not good at living.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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