Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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