so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
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I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I did not marry a roomba.
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