drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
