It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
