At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
