so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
