hotel room ftw
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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