So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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