Non-Jews are for practice
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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