I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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