You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
