I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
