as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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