even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
