oh god the rape fog is back!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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