and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
