the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
