To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
