Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
