from now on my penis is your penis
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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