I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
